HardRockChick

Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors

Make Air Not War – The U.S. Air Guitar Regionals/SF Golden Gate @ The Independent, 6/26/09

dev@hard
June 27, 2009
3
0

As I get deeper and deeper into making HardRockChick a legitimate website, building up my own credibility as a writer that bestows music insights upon you, I feel a little weird about still going to see Air Guitar.

BUT- the whole thing makes me laugh. And laughter is the best medicine, right?

The show begins with the Star Wars theme introducing the ‘Master of Air-emonies’, Hot Lixx Hulahan, who is the current reigning world champion. As in he took Finland. You’ve seen the documentary, right? He goes over the rules and the judging criteria: technical prowess, stage presence, and ‘airness’. Then he recruits a girl to play air drums from the crowd (wearing a homemade shirt that says Vodka on it), as well as a guy to play air bass, and is joined by Bjorn Turoque to play as an air band to warm the crowd up.

The three judges for the evening are Bjorn Turoque, Aesop, drummer for Ludicra, and Marc Hawthorne, a judge from last year who apparently recently ‘departed The Onion’. Sad times.

On with the show. You gotta give major props to anyone who goes up there and does this….that said, some of them are really, really bad. Luckily the judges were drinking Boones, sponsor for the evening, from the bottle….as a lot of the funnies came from them. Aesop turned out to be like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, making some of the most inappropriate yet hilarious remarks of the evening. For instance, one of the competitors, who I remember from last year, had a stroke recently, but still wanted to compete. However, he had some physical limitations with the performance. So Aesop gives him a low score, saying “I don’t want to send some stroked out guy to Finland”, or something to that effect.

There were quite a few forgettable performances…but ones I do recall are: Dirty Airy’s Sabotage performance, the emo kid in purple tights that showed a bit much of his bits, the guy in the Donnie Darko shirt with black fingernails, Awesome- last year’s winner, the raver kid, the guy who made pedals and amps out of cardboard, and the guy who wore underwear as a bra with his head through the crotch. There were more, I just had to…drink.

Luckily someone compiled a montage:

About a third of the way into the first round, when the crowd was angry with some of the scores from the judges, Hot Lixx told us that we were free to throw things at the judges. For the rest of the evening, beers and things were being thrown up there, and Bjorn was hit squarely in the face at least twice. Marc retaliated at one point by ‘accidentally’ dropping a whole bottle of Boones, which luckily didn’t hit anyone.

After a short intermission, the top 5 scorers are announced: Awesome, the Donnie Darko guy, the Emo Destroyer, the underwear bra guy, and Dirty Airy. It was time to reveal the song that they would all have to air guitar to. At first, they played ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’, and we were all a little confused. And then it happened: Beat It.

It was the first time I’d heard an MJ song in public after his death, and I got a little emo. It’s crazy.

First up was the Donnie Darko guy, who busted out some MJ dance moves, and finished with lifting his shirt to reveal RIP MJ scrawled on his chest. I don’t know how he knew to do that, but it was there and that’s all that mattered. The crowd ate it up. Another memorable performance from the top 5 was Dirty Airy, who performed only wearing a sock on his manparts. I don’t know how it stayed there, because he sure moved around a lot. Funny to see everyone whip out their cameraphones for that part. The final performance was from Awesome, who came out wearing an MJ shirt that looked like he had been in possession of since he was twelve, from the Victory tour. Another amazing foresight. He just killed it- this guy was made for Air Guitar- which is kinda sad and kinda cool at the same time.

Awesome took home the prize- he’ll be going to DC to represent us in the US Championship in August.

The night ended with everyone onstage performing air Freebird. No, I didn’t get up there, but I busted out a little HRC air guitar for anyone who was watching.

Here’s me with Awesome last year, when he was still known as Shred Begley, Jr.

awesome

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts

A New Level: Metallica, Pantera, and Mammoth VH @ SoFi Stadium Los Angeles, 8/25/23

“Now a new look in my eyes my spirit riseForget the pastPresent tense works and lastsGot shit on, pissed on,…

September 4, 2023
9
0

Gimme Danger: Iggy Pop & The Losers with Grace McKagan @ The Pearl Las Vegas, 4/29/23

“Gimme danger, little strangerAnd I feel with you at easeGimme danger, little strangerAnd I’ll feel your disease There’s nothing in…

May 29, 2023
8
3

Kill or Become: Cannibal Corpse, Dark Funeral, Immolation, Black Anvil at House of Blues Las Vegas at Mandalay Bay 11/25/22

“Living out the days and nights in absolute fearNever knowing when and where thethreat of the undead draws nearThoughts of…

December 3, 2022
8
0

Looks That Kill: Mötley Crüe, Def Leppard, Poison, & Joan Jett & The Blackhearts @ Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas, 9/9/22

“Now, listen up She’s a razor sharp If she don’t get her way She’ll slice you apart Now she’s a…

September 19, 2022
10
0

A Dangerous Meeting: Mercyful Fate, High on Fire, Paradise Lost, Fugitive, Suicidal Tendencies, Bone Thugs -n- Harmony, Frozen Soul, Emperor, Mayhem, Carcass, and Wolves in the Throne Room @ Psycho Las Vegas @ Resort World, 8/19-21/22

“Oh, they should have knownNot to play with the powers of HellSome people have lost their waySome people have lost…

August 30, 2022
12
0

Among the Living: Anthrax 40th Anniversary Tour with Black Label Society @ Brooklyn Bowl Las Vegas, 7/28/22

“I’m the walking dudeI can see all the worldTwist your minds with fearI’m the man with the powerAmong the living,…

August 19, 2022
6
0

Mad World: Tears for Fears, Garbage @ Kia Forum in Los Angeles, 6/4/22

“And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I’m dying Are…

June 12, 2022
8
1

She Sells Sanctuary: The Cult, Des Roc @ House of Blues Las Vegas, Mandalay Bay 5/8/22

“The sparkle in your eyes Keeps me alive And the sparkle in your eyes Keeps me alive, keeps me alive…

May 27, 2022
5
0

Rock You Like A Hurricane: Scorpions, Skid Row @ Zappos Theater at Planet Hollywood, Las Vegas 4/3/22

“It’s early morning, the sun comes out Last night was shaking and pretty loud My cat is purring, it scratches…

April 15, 2022
5
1

Turbo Lover: 50 Years of Heavy Metal with Judas Priest and Queensrÿche @ Zappos Theater, Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino Las Vegas, 3/13/22

“We hold each other closer, as we shift to overdrive And everything goes rushing by, with every nerve alive We…

March 22, 2022
7
1