Travis Barker: missed. Thanks, Friday night focus groups!
After one hour and a shot, too many blondes and boobs and attitudes (go back to where you came from), Andre Legacy and Dirt Nasty jump on stage. Fun set, potty humor stoner rap. Someone kept throwing ice at them. Most seem disinterested and have no idea who they are.
Enter rant: did none of you read my Top 5 Live Music Etiquette piece? Obviously not. I could have handed out about a jillion tickets. I should also add a sixth-if the room is crowded, do not lead with your drink as you try to squeeze through. Your $10 kettle and soda just dripped all over me, bitch.
After those two handled a mediocre crowd at best quite well, Mickey Avalon arrives. Two people in front of me start having a hook up convo. Are you kidding? It’s like, “oh my god, no way, I’m an extra on Laguna Beach, and ohmigod, you’re an actor waiter in The Hills, no way! Do you, like know”…..etc., etc. I am teeming in anger until ‘So Rich, So Pretty’ comes on, where I find demented solace in the fact that the silicon infiltrators know every word. This is about you, morons. And you know what? “..it’s fake, like your tits, and your eyes and your nose and your braids.”
When you thought I couldn’t get any more bitter, MA seems to have a pretty short set. DJ AM comes right out, and I prepare to hear what all of the hype is about. Waiting…waiting….hmmmmm…..the DJ that played between Travis Barker and Andre Legacy/Dirt Nasty was much better. I’m bored, I leave early. DJ Atrociously Mediocre. Did I miss some fireworks at the end? Someone clue me in.
So, if you thought hardrockchick was all positive, all the time, take the one for an example. I can be a super critical smug SF hipster, too.
“And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I’m dying Are…
“The sparkle in your eyes Keeps me alive And the sparkle in your eyes Keeps me alive, keeps me alive…
“It’s early morning, the sun comes out Last night was shaking and pretty loud My cat is purring, it scratches…
“Too much horror businessDriving late at nightPsycho 78My bathroom is newYou, you don’t go in the bathroom with mePsycho 7812…
“Now a new look in my eyes my spirit riseForget the pastPresent tense works and lastsGot shit on, pissed on,…
“Gimme danger, little strangerAnd I feel with you at easeGimme danger, little strangerAnd I’ll feel your disease There’s nothing in…
“Living out the days and nights in absolute fearNever knowing when and where thethreat of the undead draws nearThoughts of…
“Now, listen up She’s a razor sharp If she don’t get her way She’ll slice you apart Now she’s a…
“Oh, they should have knownNot to play with the powers of HellSome people have lost their waySome people have lost…
“I’m the walking dudeI can see all the worldTwist your minds with fearI’m the man with the powerAmong the living,…
“And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I’m dying Are…
“The sparkle in your eyes Keeps me alive And the sparkle in your eyes Keeps me alive, keeps me alive…
“It’s early morning, the sun comes out Last night was shaking and pretty loud My cat is purring, it scratches…
“Too much horror businessDriving late at nightPsycho 78My bathroom is newYou, you don’t go in the bathroom with mePsycho 7812…
“Now a new look in my eyes my spirit riseForget the pastPresent tense works and lastsGot shit on, pissed on,…
“Gimme danger, little strangerAnd I feel with you at easeGimme danger, little strangerAnd I’ll feel your disease There’s nothing in…
Ok, I know that I’m 6 feet tall woman with ‘more to love’ and that Micky Avalon is a short skinny sweaty jewish ex-prostitute/druggie with ‘thank you’ tattooed across his abdomen. But somehow, I found him S-E-X-Y. I hope he comes back when there’s less silicone to fight with in the crowd.
man i love Travis barker. I will never be as good as him at drums but at least i can try.