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Diary of a Madman: I am Ozzy Book Signing @ Book Passage, 2/21/10

February 21, 2010

Diary of a madman
Walk the line again today
Entries of confusion
Dear diary I’m here to stay

~Diary of a Madman

When I entered teen-dom in the mid nineties, Ozzy had a stellar solo career. It was only after singing along to ‘No More Tears’ and ‘Crazy Train’ and ‘Mama, I’m Coming Home’ for quite a while that I learned that he used to front this band called Black Sabbath.

In 1996, I went to see Mr. Ozzy Osbourne at Southpark Meadows in Austin with my friend Yoyo and two guys. We were WAY out of our minds, sitting on a hill at the back of the venue. Sepultura and Type O Negative opened. I remember literally rolling around on the ground laughing at the ‘old’ people getting carried out of the pit on stretchers and walking around all out of their minds….thinking back those old people were probably in their 30s.

The following year, I went to one of the first Ozzfests in San Antonio. Looking at the lineup: Black Sabbath, Pantera, Type O Negative, Fear Factory, Machine Head, Powerman 5000, Coal Chamber, Slo Burn, Drain STH, downset, Neurosis, Vision of Disorder…whoa. I wish I could remember all of that better!

The point is, I always loved Ozzy. Even when The Osbournes came on MTV. I last saw him with Rob Zombie, and while it wasn’t the best experience and I called it ‘my last Ozzy show’, that still doesn’t change the big imprint he left on my teen years. So when I heard he would be signing his recently released autobiography, I am Ozzy, I said, I am there!

It was cold, rainy, and foggy- a perfect day to pay a visit to the Godfather of Heavy Metal. It was weird for such an occurrence to take place in the yuppy tourist trap that is the Ferry Building, but whatever. I arrived at 2:30p for the 3p signing- wet and with a broken umbrella. Just as I was about to enter the store to buy the book before getting in the monstrous autograph line, security cut me off. “We’re closing it down for him to enter”. OK…..so they place a rail in front of me (touché), and I wait next to the people in front of the autograph line, who had been there since 6am! And we wait, and wait. I’m getting soaked, thinking, ‘the things I do for the musicians I love!’ It’s 3pm now. A few pigeons fly near us and someone says, “let’s catch one and ask him to bite the head off!” Finally, at a quarter after, a black SUV enters the lot, and out pops Ozzy!

ozzy arriving

I walk in after that and wait in a separate line to buy my book. As I walk back out to stand in line, I hear a familiar voice shout my name. It was Alan– of course! He let me slip in line with him, and we were discussing a picture taking strategy, when suddenly we were there, and I think we all kind of froze. There were still a few people in front of me when I looked ahead at Ozzy, sitting there, expressionless, looking right back at me. Well, past me, I presume- probably gazing at the extremely long line and wondering why he agreed to do this. He wasn’t saying anything to anyone, he didn’t look bad or good, he didn’t seem happy or sad….it was….kind of odd.

We get up to the table and Alan gets a quick pic and I ask the guy behind me to take one and he just shakes his head at me. By the time I pick my jaw up off the ground at that, a lady is putting the book in my hand and shuttling me out of there. I didn’t even get to say thank you….

Ozzy siggy

These signing things are always weird – a blur – but they are interesting little events that often yield funny stories….like my wine signing with Maynard last year. If you’re going to buy the item anyway, you might as well attend one of these.

I decided to walk all the way home in the rain, thinking.

I was looking back on my life
And all the things I’ve done to me
I’m still looking for the answers
I’m still searching for the key

The wreckage of my past keeps haunting me
It just won’t leave me alone
I still find it all a mystery
Could it be a dream?
The road to nowhere leads to me

Through all the happiness and sorrow
I guess I’d do it all again
Live for today and not tomorrow
It’s still the road that never ends

~Road to Nowhere

Well, I made one stop at Walgreens, where I made my first purchase of anti-wrinkle cream. I’m turning 30 in 2 weeks! Whoa.

By the time I got home, I had walked off my weird mood. I stood two feet from Ozzy today! Wow.

And thanks to Alan doing a little digging- there’s proof! My ass met Ozzy 🙂


~signed, HRC | Diary of a Madwoman


  1. Haha, that's rad. Ozzy's a trip. About 7 years ago down in Hollywood I went down to Guitar Center and saw this Randy Rhodes induction ceremony thingy. There were all kinds of cool people there: Yngwie, Zakk, Ozzy, Sharon, Lemmy, Rudy, I think even Nuno Bettencourt. Anyways, the event was kind of boring, but I learned a few things:

    1. Motorhead fans > Ozzy Fans. I'll never forget this guy standing 10 feet in front of Lemmy yelling "ACE OF SPADES! ACE OF SPADES!" at the top of his lungs while Sharon tells him to "settle down".

    2. Yngwie Malmsteen is pretty cool, despite all the "dooshbag" rumors. He was the only dude to hang around with the fans and take pictures.

    3. Lemmy doesn't give.a.fuck.about.anything. He showed up in black jeans and a white t-shirt and then left out the side door. A few of us actually talked to him on the sidewalk. Wasted.

    4. They actually do film movies on Sunset Blvd! Imagine my surprise when I turn the corner and John Travolta is on the crosswalk and I'm in the middle of a movie set with some guy telling me to get out of the way because they're trying to film "Get Shorty Two". I never saw it, but I assume it was awesome.


    p.s. I'm turning 30 this year also. It's alright though, it's probably time that I toned-it down a bit. I was thinking about changing my blog to "Bay Area Jazz Scene." You know – something that fans of oatmeal, going to be early and driving slow in the fast lane can appreciate.

      1. Oh shit! I almost forgot about that! That was awesome, and then not awesome. Lemmy and "that other guy" are like clones: similar voices, both all disheveled and booze-laden, and both incredibly handsome.

        Wait – why can't we say who it was?

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